That Wicked and Needy Type of Love
by RenTenTen
Summary: When Gemma left the realms that last time, she thought that she was through with magic. However, finding out that she's been gifted, or cursed, with immortality gives a whole new perspective to things. Her epic love is a tree, her friends are long gone, and the only thing that has any appeal to her is wandering around searching for adventure. And Mystic Falls is her new adventure.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is a super shout out to EvanescentOrchid, who wrote "Evanescent Temptation". If you're a fan of this genre, then you've probably already read it. It was awesome, was it not? Anyway, that story inspired me to write my own about Gemma mixed up with some vamps. However, much I love Twilight though, I just can't pair her with any of the guys from there. Sorry, I just don't have it in me. So instead, you'll just have to enjoy some Demma action (Damon/Gemma, I thought Gamon sounded too much like a Digimon or something. LOL) I do not have a beta, all mistakes are my own. If you want to be my beta, hit me up.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizable characters, settings, or situations. I do however, own the characters reactions to the situations that I put them in.**

**BTW, if anyone seems OOC, they are. It's an AU, everyone is OOC. Silly geese!**

* * *

When I met The Three on the foggy barge those many years ago, I didn't know that this is what they meant.

I should have realized it when they said we wouldn't meet again. They were the Three that took _everyone_ to the other side after death. And like a fool I had given away my final choice of death. It wasn't until after my twenty-fifth birthday until I started to get a sense that something wasn't right. I had gone to America after graduating from Spence, I was going to start fresh. I graduated from university and became a secretary for a lawyer. It was while I was on a lunch with some of the other ladies from the office when it was brought to my attention.

"Gemma," started Addie, she was born in the States and she had a strange accent, she was from Boston, "you must tell us how you manage to stay looking so young. What are you, twenty-five and not a wrinkle in sight." Americans were very blunt, it took me a bit to get used to their inquisitiveness. In Britain, you didn't ask questions, you spoke about the weather just to be polite. But, I truly didn't have anything to tell her. I shrugged and said,

"My mother always looked younger than her age. I must have gotten it from her."

Three years later and I still looked the same. The same as I looked as a twenty-two year old. I felt as if it must have had something to do with the realms. I had not returned since that last time at Spence, so it couldn't have been a result of the magic that resided there. And there couldn't have been any magic left in me, because I had bound it equally to the lands. Both Ann and Felicity were just as involved in the realms as I was, but through the letters and pictures we had sent over the years, I could see them aging. Though slight, it was there. But for me, nothing had changed after a certain point in time.

I was at a loss for what could be causing my seemingly everlasting youth, and there was only one group of beings that could possibly answer my questions. So sitting alone in my apartment one evening after work, I gathered my courage to call the door of light.

I was afraid that it wouldn't work. I hadn't tried anything magic-related for eleven years. But I think I was even more afraid that it would work. I told the creatures of the realm that I would be back. To help them find a balance, and to mediate between the tribes. If this did work, all I could hope was that time passed differently there than it had for me, and that they hadn't missed my presence too much. And it was not only the creatures of the realms that I was worried about seeing again. Kartik was there, as he would be forever. While he assumed that we would meet, and be together again, how could that be? Especially since he was tethered to the Tree of All Souls for seemingly the rest of the realms' existence, and I wasn't even aging properly enough to expect death at this point. After the first couple years after our separation, I would have dream of him, of us in the realms, of love and possibilities. But sooner than later, those dreams dwindled, fizzled out to nothing, and I was left with the harsh realities that I find myself in now.

I called for the door. Nothing happened. I called again, focusing on the memories of old Gemma, Felicity, Ann, and Pippa when we would call it after sneaking out of Spence and into that cave in the woods. And the lights flickered out. A breeze made my spine tingle. And when I opened my eyes, the door was there. And I grabbed the knob and turned it, stepping to the other side.

* * *

When I stepped out, I was in the garden. A great wave of nostalgia passed over me. This was where I saw my pseudo-mother for the first time after her death, where the other girls and I would frolic and play. It looked the same. It looked beautiful. It was perfect. And I could feel the power I was used to feeling inside me thrum in the air. But it was quiet, and the silence made me wary. I was hoping to see some of my old allies here, just waiting for me. But I knew that was a wish if there ever was one. I started walking towards the river. If there was one person who I'd want to see most right now it would be Gorgon.

As I made my way to the river, I became aware of a rustling in the bushes. There was someone or something watching me, and here I was, all alone and unarmed. I hoped that whatever it was, was just curious, because I was out of shape and practice when it came to fighting for my life. I finally made it to the river, and I found what I was looking for. Gorgon's boat was quite a ways away from shore, but I waved, and it seems she or one of the many snakes nestled upon her crown was aware of me, for she began steering in my direction.

Whoever that was watching, had left by now. And I felt more safe the closer Gorgon came. At last, her boat drifted next to me, and she let the side down for me to board.

"Most High," she rasped. "You have finally returned." She didn't turn to look at me, which I was grateful for since in her unbound state her turn-you-to-stone eyes were active. Been there, done that.

"I have." I smiled. "It's really good to see you, Gorgon." I paused for a beat. "I do have a question though."

"Hm?" She asked, steering toward an unknown destination.

"I asked you before, why you called me Most High. Back then, you said it was because I was the most powerful priestess, the highest rank. But now, why do you still call me it? I have no more powers, I bound it all to be divided between the realms."

"Perhaps it is true that you bound power to the realms. But I do not lie. If you had none of your own, how is it that you are here?" She had a point. I needed to have some sort of magic to enter the realms. This was all just very confusing for me.

"Where are we going, Gorgon?"

"The Winterlands." She replied.

"For what reason?" I asked.

"I assumed that you would like to visit." She was right of course. I had grown older, but Gorgon was still 'Most Wise'. I sat back for the rest of the ride. My eyes taking in the changes that had occurred while I was away. We reached the Winterlands after a time, and the changes here were most drastic. For one, we didn't have to hide upon our entrance, the previously dead grass was completely rejuvenated, and even the trees were trying to turn over a new leaf. The silence of everything was still disconcerting. When we had gone as far as we could go by boat, Gorgon let down the plank.

"Thank you Gorgon. I'll be back shortly. I... just have to say goodbye."

"I will be here." Replied Gorgon. I knew the way well, even if I hadn't been here for years and the reason for visit was much different. When I made it, all I could do was sit at the base of the tree that captured my Kartik. Wendy had once told me that when the wind blew through the leaves she would hear the most beautiful sounds. Experiencing it for the first time myself, I was inclined to agree. It sounded like my name. _Gem-ma, Gem-ma_. It was him whispering my name.

I stood after a while and placed my palms and forehead on the bark, trying to get as close to Kartik as I could.

"Kartik. I know it has been quite a while. But I'm here now. And I'm here to say I love you. I will always love you, but I don't think we'll ever be together. I'll never forget you, and I probably will never move on, but it is time for me to say goodbye." I pat the trunk one last time before turning away, brushing off the traitorous tears that I didn't wish to fall." I swear as I was walking away I could hear him say 'I love you'.

Reaching the boat, I climbed aboard. "Gorgon, if it isn't too much trouble, could you take me to see Philon?"

"As you wish." Was her apathetic response. We arrived swiftly, and no more words passed between us. When we reached the edge of the forest, I was surprised to see Gorgon joining me on the ground. "Follow, Most High." We walked swiftly through the forest, and again, I felt like someone was watching me, possibly the same something from the garden. I chose to ignore it and hope that it wasn't a threat. Arriving to a clearing, I was surprised to see a few Hajin around. When I had left all those years ago, there was still a vast amount of animosity between the opposing creatures. Gorgon led me to a large tent that I remembered was Philon's and opened the flap, gesturing for me to go in. I did without hesitation, and she followed. Adjusting my eyes to the darker interior took me a few moments, and the first figures I saw were Philon and Asha.

"It's so good to see both of you." I bowed, I _was_ in the presence of the leaders of the Forest People and the Hajin, respectively.

"Priestess." Philon greeted.

"Lady Hope." Asha smiled.

"It's been a while." Said Philon. "I was thinking that you'd never come back." The way he said it, I couldn't be sure if he was disappointed or not. I chose not to care.

"Yes. I had some...issues...I had to work out for myself. You've done a remarkable job rebuilding here. Everything looks the same, if not better."

"It just shows that working together we can accomplish the most impossible of things." Chimed the soft-spoken Hajin leader.

"It seems as if you want something, Priestess. Out with it." I wasn't sure how to phrase my question. "If you're worried about our bargain, while the way you went about dividing the magic wasn't ideal, the outcome was... favorable." Good. I had been worried about that. Philon had given me those silver arrows and bow, but in return he wanted a portion of the magic. He was mad enough that first time when I had a chance to split the magic with him, and instead I bound it all to myself. Philon wasn't the most trustworthy creature around.

"I need your council on a matter." He nodded his head, bringing a pipe to his lips. "I'm sure that you can tell I've grown, aged, somewhat. But I'm afraid that I haven't aged nearly as much as I should have. I believe that it has something to do with the magic or the realms, but I don't know how that could be if this is the first time in eleven years that I've stepped in them. And apart from whatever minor magic that I used to get into the realms, I don't have any.

"What an interesting conundrum."

"Do you remember when you went to visit the dark-hearted priestess in the well?" asked Asha. I nodded. How could I forget the complicated character that called herself Circe? "She told you that when you bound the magic, and used it, you changed it." I wasn't even going to dwell on the fact that Asha knew the whole time what Circe was telling me during our 'sessions'. "When you hold the magic long enough, it stays with you. You may not be tethered to this world, but a piece of it is tethered to you. The magic that you hold within yourself is not minor, and it belongs to you. As for the matter of aging, look around, we don't have much of that around here. I wouldn't know where to begin in dissecting that matter."

"Have you every encountered the Three?" Philon asked, he was now creating shapes with the smoke he blew out.

"The Three Crones? That ferry you to you death?" I asked. He nodded in affirmation.

"I have. But what do they have to do with anything?"

"Did you ever have a conversation with them?" I nodded slowly, going through my memories to try and recall what had been said.

*Flashback*

_"Your time has come. You have a choice to make." She opened her hand. There rested a cluster of deep purple berries, much darker in hue than the ones Pip ate. They sat cupped in her palm, as bright as jewels. "Swallow the berries, and we will ferry you away to glory. Refuse them and you must return to whatever awaits. Once you choose, there is no turning back." For a moment, I heard my friends calling me, but they seemed far away, as if I could run and run and never catch them._

_"Gemma." I turn to see Circe behind me. She had lost the gray pallor she wore earlier. She looked just as she did the first day I saw her at Spence, when she was Miss Moore, the teacher I loved. "You did well," she said._

_"You knew Mrs. Spence had become the tree, didn't you?" I said._

_"Yes." She answered. _

_"And you meant to save me?" I asked hopefully._

_She gave me a rueful smile. "Have no illusions about me, Gemma. I meant to save myself first. To have the power second. You were a distant third."_

_"But I_ was _third." I said._

_"Yes," she said with a little laugh. "You were third."_

_"Thank you," I said. "You saved me."_

_"No. You saved yourself. I only helped a little bit."_

_"What will become of you now?" I asked. She doesn't answer._

_"She will roam here in the mist for all time," the crone told me._

_The choice before me in her palm. The cries of my friends grew faint in the fog. I took one plump berry and placed it on my tongue, tasting it. It was not tart. Rather, there was only a pleasant sweetness, and then nothing. It was the taste of forgetting. Of sleep and dreams with no waking. Never to long or yearn, to struggle or love or desire ever again. And I understood that this is what it truly meant to lose your soul. My mouth went numb with sweetness. The berry sat on my tongue._

_Felicity carrying goldenrod in her arms. Ann's voice, strong and sure. Gorgon matching though the battlefield. I had to only swallow the berry and it would be done. That was all. Swallow the berry and with it all the struggle, all care, all hope. How easy it would've been to do._

_Kartik. I left him at the tree. The tree. I was to do something there._

_So very, very easy..._

_Kartik_

_With a tremendous effort, I spit the berry from my mouth, gagging as I tried to rid my tongue of the sugary numbness. My body ached as if I had pushed a heavy rock uphill forever, but now I was rid of it._

_"I'm sorry. I cannot go with you. Not now. But I am to have a request, am I not?"_

_"If you wish it."_

_"I do. I should like to offer my place to another," I said, looking toward Circe._

_"You would give it to me?" She said._

_"You saved my life. That must count for something." I said._

_"You know I abhor self-sacrifice," she replied._

_"I know, but I'll not have you wandering in the mists. Too dangerous."_

_She smiled at me. "You've done very well, indeed, Gemma." She turned to the Three. "I accept." Circe stepped onto the barge. The crone nodded to me._

_"You've made your choice. There is no turning back now. Whatever shall happen you must accept."_

_"Yes, I know."_

_"Then we wish you luck. We'll not meet again."_

*End Flashback*

"I gave up my choice of glory in order to come back and finish the fight. She said that my choice was final and we wouldn't meet again..." I said trailing off. The truth was slowly but surely starting to unravel itself to me.

"What an interesting turn in events." While I counted Philon as an ally, his ambiguity made it really hard to like him as a person. He seemed to enjoy my confusion. "She offered you a sweet death, and yet you chose life. It seems to me that what we have here is a case of accidental immortality." I turned to Asha, incredulity coloring my features. She looked to be contemplating what he said, but not openly refuting it. And Gorgon, well, she seemed like she knew that was the case already. "Welcome to the ranks." Teased Philon, a small smirk on his face.

"Are you serious about this?"

"Well, it's only an educated guess. The only way to know for sure is if you look the same in fifty years."

"It doesn't happen often, but I've heard tales of immortality being gifted by the realms, after an incredibly courageous act. It hasn't happened before in my lifetime, but that doesn't make it any less possible." Added Asha.

"As a true immortal," Gorgon started, her snakes hissing lowly upon her head, "I recognize another." She nodded.

And that was how I found out I was immortal. After that, I made it back to my apartment, packed up and left. I couldn't stay there any longer. I traveled all over the States after that. Never staying in one place long enough to draw attention. I thanked my lucky stars that at least I looked old enough to rent or buy my own place. I could've just as easily been stuck in my seventeen year old body for the rest of my existence. And Asha was right about my magic. It was still with me and it was different. I found out when I created new identification papers the night I returned from the realms. I assumed that they would last at least a full day before fading out of existence, but two days passed, and they were still there, then a week, then a month. I realized that my powers upgraded from mere illusions to something permanent.

Alas, it was 2009 now, and I decided that my new home would be in the state I could never gather the courage to visit, Virginia. Like my mother. Finding a map, I looked around, trying to find a city that called out to me. _Mystic Falls. _Well that sounded promising. I took the map up to the teen behind the counter.

"Going on a road trip?" The gangly teen asked as I paid.

"Something like that." I answered vaguely. I left the gas station and headed toward my black Harley. Putting on my dark helmet, I started him up and pealed out of the parking lot. Maybe Mystic Falls would hold some type of adventure for me.

* * *

**Okay. So Gemma's on her way to Mystic Falls. I'm starting this at Season One. This will be Demma, but I'm gonna start them out as friends. Because you know that Damon's obsessed with Katherine all season. Just to be clear, there will not be any Delena. Just some of the normal one-sided Datherine. So what did you think? Who of the Mystic Falls gang should she meet first? Let me know.**

**Oh and PS. That flashback is courtesy of ****_The Sweet Far Thing _****by Libba Bray, p. 773-776. I changed some of the tenses to make it fit as a flashback.**

**Ren!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello my non-existent viewers. Maybe you all will be more compelled to read this story now that it's longer? Ehhh. Whatevs. Enjoy.**

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Getting settled in Mystic Falls was easier than expected. I found a job, two actually. My primarily was working as a bartender at the Mystic Grill. It really seemed like every shop downtown had "Mystic" somewhere in it's name. I was sure that the natives found it to be a joke that got old really quick. My second was a little part time gig at a dress shop. The owner was a nice older lady - well, not older than me, but you get it - who needed a little help with sales and odd-jobs around the shop every so often. During my life span, I had accumulated quite a bit of wealth. Some I worked for on my own, some was from my portion of my family's estate in London and my dowry. I by no means needed to work, but working took my mind off things, gave me a chance to meet new people, gave me a reason not to be alone. Only God knew how lonely it could get after over one hundred years.

I even rented a small house. It was a one bedroom deal. I would have opted for an apartment, but there weren't many, if any, in this small town. This kind of town was a 'stay-here-and-settle-down-forever-in-a-house' kind of town. There weren't too many single, 'young' people unattached to family hanging around here.

From what I could tell, I would like living here. Of course, right now, I was on the watch list of all the older generation Mystic Falls folks. I got it. I was an unknown entity. I was new, unfamiliar. A vagabond really. I found it almost comical, how years ago it was my lover playing the part of the gypsy, and now it was me. The universe loved to keep the balance. I took the judging stares in stride though. Soon, I'd win their trust, become a staple in the community, and when I felt my time was up, ride out of town just like I rode in. Silently and with a mysterious air.

My first night working the bar went smoothly, everything was very straight forward. For the most part, the people in this town didn't ask for any type of drink that needed more prep than pouring - though I was qualified to do much more. It wasn't until I was a few weeks into the job when I got my first bout of excitement.

There was a group of kids, they looked to be around seventeen, give or take a year or two, and they would come in a lot on weekends, and even sometimes during the week to do homework or just chat. There was the pretty brunette who was dating Matt - the busboy. On the few occasions that I actually got to talk to him, he seemed cool, down to earth and all that. I think that her name was Eliza. It was something like that, it started with an 'E'. I don't know I'm not a stalker. Then there was this bubbly blonde. She was obnoxious, loud, and shallow. But despite all of those _lovely_ qualities, she seemed like she had a good heart. Then there was another brunette. She was black, with eyes that were more hazel than green and eyebrows that stayed arched. I was getting some serious vibes from her. Of the magical variety. Those were the main three.

There was Matt's friend, a tan boy with short dark hair. I think he was the mayor's son. He gave off a douche vibe, and he usually hung out with his fellow jocks around the pool tables moreso that with the three girls. Matt also had a sister, Vicky, who worked as a waitress. We never talked. She was either too high, or too I'm-too-alternative-cool-to-hang, to carry on a conversation with. She was the complete opposite of her older brother. She was apparently somewhat dating Matt's douche friend, but also 'hanging' with Matt's girlfriend's younger brother, who was in all definitions of the word, a pot head. A cute pot head, but one nonetheless. That made up the most interesting group of teenagers that frequented the Grill and also the group that sent one of their members to try and get some drinks out of me.

It was Saturday night and they wanted some shots. They sent the blonde to try and sway me. They would have had better luck with a guy. I don't know maybe they thought I liked women as much as Felicity did. Or maybe they though they could pull one over on me since I was new here.

"Hi." She smiled. "My table would like two rounds of shots." I was cleaning out a glass at this point. Just staring at her.

"You got I.D.?" I asked, letting boredom slip into my tone.

"Oh," she waved her hand dismissively, "all the other bartenders know us. They don't card us anymore." I put the glass down and picked up a new one, never breaking eye contact.

"Yeah, well, I'm not them. So I still need to see an I.D." She sighed dramatically. Over her shoulder I could see her group of friends trying - and failing - not to check on her progress.

"Here you go." She placed an I.D. on the counter in front of us. I picked it up looking at it. I cut my eyes back to her.

"Okay, Nancy. This I.D. is obviously fake." At her cool expression slid off her face as a deer in headlights one replaced it just as quickly. I slid it back to her. Looking around the Grill I saw that there were no parents, or cops, or cop parents in the general vicinity or paying attention. My boss was in back doing paperwork or whatever. The other bartender, Stacey, was flirting with some college guys. Her attention was securely focused on them. "But here's what I'm going to do." I pulled out a tray and started arranging shot glasses on it. I pulled out the tequila and started filling them. "I'm in a very generous mood right now. So here's the deal. Two rounds are all you get. If the law walks in and sees you, you didn't get it from me. Make something up. Don't get use to this. And finally, the most important thing, if you can't drive, don't. Come to me and I'll call you a cab. Got it?" She nodded. "Good, now money up front." She gave me a twenty. I pushed the tray to her. I could see the shock decreasing in her eyes and being replaced by something akin to hero worship. "Alright, now get back to your friends." She grabbed her tray and I.D. and quickly walked away.

I wasn't too worried about getting caught. If worse came to worse I could cast and illusion and get out of the offense. But these kids reminded me of a younger me. But back in my day we had to go through a lot more just to get a little whiskey. I poured a shot for myself, and catching Blondie's eye I lifted my glass and gave her a nod, downing the contents without a flinch. Yeah. I think I could get along here just fine.

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**Read and review please!**

**Ren!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't really have much to say about this chapter. Please enjoy and review if you feel like it, I know nice reviews always let me know if I'm doing something right.**

**Ren!**

* * *

Time passed, and I had been in town for a few months now. I had become the illegal liquor supplier to the kids whenever I worked, as well as the resident - and free - psychologist. Upside though, I finally knew all of their names now, didn't mean I always used them.

"Aren't you worried that you get caught?" Matt asked. He never participated in the drinking, something about not following in his mom's footsteps, as well as needing to be clear-headed to take care of all Vicky's mishaps.

"Not particularly." I said, wiping down the bar. "I mean, their parents probably know they drink anyway. It's not that big of a deal. In England there is no drinking age. I guess that's why I ignore it here. I grew up with drunken teens _not_ getting arrested." I paused, the thought of drunken teen brought back both very fond and very frightening memories for me. "They don't even arrest you for being drunk in public there. Here it's against the law. America is weird." I finished. At that Matt lifted his eyebrows and just shook his head at me. "What?" I cracked a rare smile. "You know it is. And besides, I have a way of making my problems disappear." I finished cryptically.

"And that wasn't creepy at all." Matt said laughing, moving away to clear a recently vacated booth. Caroline came bursting through the door just then. Speeding toward me and then plopping on the stool right in front of me. She looked frazzled.

"Gemma, I'm having major boy issues."

"Hmmm. Don't know much about boys." I drawled.

"Yeah right. I bet you have tons of experience."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered that you're coming to me for advice, or if you just called me a slut."

"Oh Gemma," she sighed dramatically. She really didn't have any other type of sigh, "You know what I mean." Well, to be truthful, she wasn't wrong about me having tons of experience. I couldn't be a virgin for the rest of my extended life. I didn't do relationships, I was still healing from a past love. I did however, do one night stands. Plenty of those.

"Okay." I rolled my eyes. "Tell me all about your boy troubles." She then proceeded to talk my ear off for a good twenty minutes about her problem when it all boiled down to something very simple: She liked a guy, but he was sending out mixed signals so she wasn't sure if her liked her as well.

"So what should I do?" She finished.

"That was a long story. But I think I have an answer. You ready?" She nodded eagerly. "Ask the bloke out." I rolled my eyes yet again. Duh.

"What? No! There has to be another way." She crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"Listen, you know me. I'm a straight-forward kind of girl. You ask me questions, I give you answers. You got a problem, I'll give you an easy way to solve it. You don't like my advice, don't use it. That's that." I shrugged.

"Geez Gemma, you don't have get so touchy about it." I stopped wiping the glass I was holding and just looked at her. "Fine, fine. I'm leaving. I'll ask him at the party tonight."

"Be safe, and remember what I said."

"Yeah, yeah, if we can't drive I'll call you." She waved me away as she walked out of the door.

* * *

They used my advice. That I was glad for. I was glad that the Gilbert girl had called her parents to pick her up when she so obviously wasn't fit to drive in her drunken and upset state. Caroline had come in a few days after the party to tell me all about it, and at the same time telling me why none of the normal gang had been in yet. The girl's parents had died. She called them to come pick her up. She left the party earlier than she would have because she saw Caroline trying to put the moves on Matt, apparently I had given her the advice to do that but in all honesty I wouldn't have if I knew the guy she had her eye on was taken. She was upset and she left early and then there was a car accident on Wickery Bridge. Her parents were trapped in the car, but somehow a drunken and unconscious Elena had made it out with minimal injuries. It was a miracle, and I was glad, but it also reeked of foul play. How else would a completely sober doctor end up in a car accident in the dead of the night while traversing a bridge he crossed everyday? It just didn't add up to me. When you're around long enough, you learn to sniff these sorts of things out. And that Gilbert girl, either she had some sort of guardian angel looking out for her or she was just cheating death for a little while longer.

That tragedy put a damper on the rest of the summer. All the faces that entered the bar were blue, reeling from the loss of such important members of the community, but none were quite as blue and the Gilbert kids. Quite understandably. The girl, she behaved like a zombie. There was no life or joy in her eyes, probably because she thought their deaths were her fault. Before she was a social butterfly, the queen bee, but now, she shied away from her friends, opting instead to sit at her parent's tombstones writing in her journal. Probably writing especially depressing entries too.

The Gilbert boy was a different story. He had one specific look in his eyes. The one a lost puppy has. He would be in the Grill much more that humanly necessary, and it was all for one reason. One Vicky Donavan. I didn't have anything particularly against Miss Vicky, but she was no good for baby Gilbert. He had already started to change. He smoked before, what kids don't?, but now it was more of a lifeline. He rarely came in sober. And I could pinpoint it all back to Vicky. He did it to hang with her, and on the way got caught up. I watched, until I couldn't watch anymore and had to intervene.

He was sitting alone at a high top table, watching the bubbles rise from his Cola. His eyes weren't completely bloodshot, but he did have the lingering scent of weed on him. Vicky was elsewhere. Maybe on break, maybe not. I didn't care. It was a slow day with very few workers, and so my duties were expanded to encompass waitressing. It was a perfect time to hold an intervention. I walked up to his table, nabbing his attention.

"What can I get for you baby Gilbert? Or are you fine with that Cola?" His eyes narrowed at the nickname. Apparently, I was the first to call him that. The way his hair flopped over his eyes was adorable. Endearing really. It reminded me of how Tom used to be. The fact that he reminded me of my long gone brother just made me want to save him even more. I would be able to be the supportive big sister my big brother could never quite achieve with me.

"Don't call me that." He scowled. "And I'm fine." I just smirked and sat in the chair just across from him.

"I don't believe that. And I'm not talking about the cola."

"Listen, I'm waiting for someone so-"

"Vicky's busy out back with one of her druggie groupies. Her break was over five minutes ago, I think it's safe to say she won't be back anytime soon." I interrupted his weak attempt at getting me to leave. "You know baby G. You and me, we are very much alike."

"Oh?" He asked, sardonically. "Please, do tell."

"We were both put in situations we weren't ready for. Both parentless." His eyes glazed over at this. "Yeah. You aren't the only one who's ever suffered the loss of loved ones." There was a long pause at this.

"How'd it happen?" He asked quietly. "If you don't mind me asking." He amended.

"It was my mother first. She was murdered in cold blood. After seeing her dead body on the street, it was almost like I could see it happening right in front of me." I reflected back on that fateful day when I had that first premonition. "My father died much, much slower. He was so broken over the loss of my mother that he turned to drugs." I gave him a pointed look, "We got him into rehab eventually but by then he was past the point where his mind and body could be saved. I wasn't there when he died. I couldn't bear to see him like that."

"So you left him to die by himself?!" Jeremy exploded, seemingly offended on behalf of my deceased father.

"No. While I was in America when he passed, my brother was there with him." I stated sadly. "I realize that what I did was selfish, but I was young then, still a teenager."

"Your still young." Said Jeremy.

"Yeah. Yeah." I chuckled without humor. Forever young. What a joke. "You have to understand that things change as time moves on. Things that didn't matter much once, matter the most later on. So you see, we're very much alike. Sure things in our lives happened differently, but it's the same result. I like to think that I grew up alright. Just like you can. But first you have to stop wallowing in this weird depression you've got going on. Recreational drugs are cool for just that: recreation. But when you start using them for escape, nothing good can come out of it. I would know." I stood up to leave. "People come in and out of our lives all of the time babe, and it hurts. But you have to keep your heart open anyway to collect all the love being sent your way, because that's the only thing that will help you heal." I started to walk back to the bar.

"Wait" Jeremy said. I stopped, turning my head back to him slightly. "Whatever happened to your brother?" I slowly turned back to the bar, a sad smile on my lips.

"Oh, he's long gone. Things happen, you know." I shrugged. Tom had lived a good, long life. "Another difference. I'm all alone, you've still got your sister, aunt, friends. You'll make it through, no problem."


End file.
